Calm down. They're just Cadbury Creme Egg Rolls.

WAIT. CADBURY CREME EGG ROLLS!?! I AM A GENIUS.

I know, all caps are annoying. But in the case of the last series of words, it was necessary. Because Easter has come early this year with my tastiest Creme Egg creation yet: Cadbury Creme Egg Rolls.

I've delved into Asian-meets-Creme-Egg fusion before, with my Cadbury Creme Egg Foo Young recipe from a few years ago. I've also re-created many specimens of classic cuisine with a sweet twist, including Cadbury Creme Egg Salad, Cadbury Creme Deviled Eggs, Cadbury Creme Eggs Benedict, Cadbury Creme Scotch Eggs, and of course, Cadbury Creme Egg in Hole Toast.

But these? These are special. Because they are fried, can be served with sauce, it's true, but mostly because, well, just look at them.

The best news is that if you want to make Cadbury Creme Egg Rolls, you don't need a lot of time or ingredients. Really. Let me tell you how.

First, you'll grab four Cadbury Creme eggs, a tube of pop-n-bake crescent rolls, and some flaked coconut. You'll rustle up a large pan and put a bunch of oil in it.

Then, you'll engage in a montage (80s music encouraged) involving these steps to assemble your egg rolls (don't worry, the full recipe is below).

Once you've done that, you'll heat up the oil and get your egg roll tossin' hands ready*...

(* = don't actually toss. Gently place them in the oil. Don't ruin your pretty face with hot oil spatter, please.)

and fry them to golden perfection. Let them cool slightly then enjoy the gooey rewards contained within.

Cadbury Creme Egg Rolls

4 Cadbury Creme Eggs
Flaked coconut (half a cup or so)
8 crescent rolls from a package

Procedure

Put the Creme Eggs in the freezer for about 10 minutes. This will help them become firm when you chop them in a bit.
Unroll the crescent rolls, and divide into 8 perforated portions. Ignore the triangle shape, and mush each one into a ball.
Using a rolling pin, roll the dough as thin as it will go without seeming like it will break.
Place some coconut on top of the rolled dough.
Your Creme eggs are ready about now, I'd say. Take them out of the fridge, and cut each egg in half. You now have 8 portions.
Cut each portion coarsely, and put it along the coconut on the spread crescent dough.
Roll it up, burrito-style. Here's how:
Heat up the oil. Once you think it's hot, test it by tossing a little crumb of crescent dough inside. If it starts bubbling furiously, you're good to go.
Fry each one (don't do more than 2 at a time, it's just easier to manage that way) until golden on both sides.
Remove from the frying pan and set on paper towels to blot excess oil.
Enjoy warm. Serve with melted chocolate sauce for dipping, if desired (suggested).