Why Cupcakes Are Nutritious

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Cupcakes are totally nutritious! I say this, of course, as someone who makes a living writing about and drawing pictures of cake, so please take that into account if you're listening to me. Oh, and I should probably tell you that in no way, should I or could I be confused for a dietitian. Actually, perhaps I should re-title this post "Why I'll Never, Ever, Ever Be a Dietician"? Because what I'm going to do now is spend the next several inches of your internet telling you exactly why eating cupcakes is a great idea for your health. 

You know you love it. Let's go!

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You Burn Calories Eating Cupcakes! did you know that you burn 102 calories per hour while you're eating? That's right: eating is exercise! That means that if you manage to eat 10,000 calories of cupcake in one hour sitting, really, you didn't break the 10k mark because you burned 102 just simply by eating. And that doesn't include the calories you burned taking the wrapper off! Whew, I feel like I've exercised merely by thinking about it. Go get me a cupcake! 

My kind of egg!

Eggs are a low-cost, high-quality protein. They also have high amounts of something called choline, which is important as an anti-inflammatory, an assistant in maintaining membranes...and, most importantly, maintaining the brain's health. Over 90% of americans are deficient in choline. Clearly, we need to be eating more of it. Cupcakes have eggs. Eggs have choline. Eat more cupcakes!

Sugar gives you energy. Candy makes you feel dandy. That's because it's made of sugar! This is an ingredient that also figures prominently into cake and frosting, the main components of a cupcake. Sugar sends glucose straight to the blood, causing insulin levels to increase while you experience a quick burst of energy. PARTY TIME! 

Flour Power

Flour gives you energy, too. It recently came to my attention that eating white flour gives you blood-sugar spikes, just like white sugar. Well, I don't know about you, but when I eat sugar I feel invincible. So it would stand that if I eat flour AND sugar, at once, I'll be double-invincible! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to jump from the window and see if I can fly. Gluten, yeah!


Butter: The world's most reliable source, Men's Health, wisely tells me, "Fat, like that in butter, is necessary in order to help your body absorb many of the healthy nutrients found in vegetables. For instance, without fat, your body can't absorb carotenoids—powerful disease-fighting antioxidants found in colorful vegetables—or fat-soluble vitamins, such as vitamins A, D, E, and K. So go ahead, eat butter, and do it without guilt." How is cake going to be healthy without butter!? 

Vanilla: As I learned here, It can reduce stress, help with nasusea, and assist in regulating menstruation. You heard it here: cupcakes as a cure for morning sickness or PMS! What's not to love about this potent vanilla mixture? 

Wow! I'm feeling healthier already, aren't you? Although I'm starting to feel the weirdest energy low after spending the last hour eating cupcakes (you know, for excersise). But Although I feel healthier already, I'm also beginning to feel a slight blood sugar downtick. I know exactly how to cure that...another cupcake! 

Here's to your cupcake-eating, absolutely delicious health!