What Happens When You Melt an Entire Box of Chocolates Together?

What happens when you melt the entire contents of a box of chocolates all together? 

Well, I can tell you that, but before I do, let's converse a little.

Forrest Gump famously (and maybe a little annoyingly) said "life is like a box of chocolates...you never know which one you're going to get."

I disagree. I think that life is more like the entire contents of a box of chocolates melted together. It's messy, it's sweet, it's gooey, it's complicated, and you get little tastes of this or that depending on which direction you go. 

With that having been said, let's see what in the world does happen when you melt the entire contents of a box of chocolates all together.

What happens when you melt an entire box of chocolates together?

The motivation for this experiment was fairly simple. I returned from a trip where I had been gifted a box of chocolates, only to find that during transit the chocolates had partially melted and mangled. Many had rolled out of their little segments and had stuck to the top of the box. While on the one hand this was a massive bummer, it did pique my curiosity, and it got me wondering if all of the flavors would mingle if they were all melted together. 

From there, it didn't take long for me to fire up a DIY double boiler (composed of a heatproof bowl atop a saucepan of simmering water) on the stovetop to see what I could see. 

So, I placed the entire contents of the chocolate box in the top of my DIY double boiler.

And I turned on the heat. Things started to get melty quickly.

Some bits, like coconut and nougat, proved resistant to melting. I turned the heat very low; gradually, most of the stubborn bits finally yielded and melted. But some parts retained little lumps of these firmer bits of confections. 

Once it was all melted, I realized I really hadn't thought this out fully. Where would I put the chocolate? 

Well, luckily I had a silicone loaf pan nearby. This loaf pan has proven pretty much useless for making actual cakes because of its wobbly sides, but it was perfect for spreading and patting down the melange of melty mixed chocolates.

After a few hours, it had set and I inverted it. 

It looked like a caricature-huge candy bar. 

I braced myself and took a bite.

OK, so this was just about the weirdest chocolate eating experience I've ever had. The only way to describe it is kind of gross, so sorry in advance. 

Have you ever been sick and thrown up, and as the food comes up you can taste individual foods, but you also taste the sum of them together? 

Eating this chocolate was sort of like that, but without the awful throwing up part. But you could taste hints of different chocolates from the usual collection - a bit of coconut, a touch of caramel, and oh, was that a bit of raspberry buttercream? - but then it's also simultaneously all mixed together. It was a very odd taste sensation.

Sorry to say, friends, but the result was not extremely crave-worthy.

Everyone at my house had a novelty bite like a good sport, but nobody opted to eat more of it, and after a few days, I tossed the monstrosity.

But the benefit is this: now we know what happens when an entire box of chocolates is melted together. So you, dear readers, can review this and decide if it's ever something you want to do (probably not).

Have you ever done something creative with a box of chocolates?